I'm getting worn out. This post is going to be a vent and I just need it... so if your looking for uplifting happy things, just scroll down and look at his cute room instead....
I have 9 days left until his due date, but my body isn't showing any signs that he's coming out and i'm starting to get depressed over the idea of an April baby and me getting bigger... especially since we have had this horrible heat wave the past 4 days :( and i'm swollen and I feel like a bus....
That and I have been acting like a "normal" person and not super me the last couple of days in an effort to take it easy... which means I keep asking South County Boy to either help me do things like dinner (which means we haven't really been cooking because he won't cook one of my recipes and looks for an easy way out)... or I'm having to relying on him to do the basics (like laundry and cleaning the bathroom)... and it hasn't happened.
Now he "did" laundry on Saturday... but its still in all the baskets... which really gets under my skin because its a huge pet peeve of mine and I hate pulling out wrinkled clothes every morning because I already feel like a big fat cow, and then to put on wrinkled clothes and not be able to take a bath because the tub needs to be cleaned and I can't do it because of the cleaners and the bending over just makes for a bad Wednesday morning. This after the week where we bought 3 more laundry baskets so each "person" will have their own "clean basket" so he can sort the laundry into piles when he pulls it out of the dryer because he knows only my stuff "needs" to go away... and it still didn't happen. Its still in the basket and it will take him 5 minutes to put it away...
My problem is I don't want to bug and nag him because I know he's excited to meet his son and is just trying to keep things together... and he's not used to being me and him and the mess and the other stuff doesn't bug him like it affects me but I can't function in chaos... It depresses me... but I don't want to be the wife who nags her husband either because I'm chock full of hormones and it will turn into a cry fest where he will feel guilty and then I'll feel guilty and then we will just sit with one another and feel better comforting the other... but then nothing will get done around the house and it will be a cycle of rinse and repeat with more tears and frustrations....
At the same time, I feel like its my fault too because on Monday, I actually enjoyed my day off from work (because, yes, I'm still working 40 hours a week with a crazy woman boss who doesn't get that i'm 10 months pregnant and wants me to not only train people to do my job while i'm gone, but to do my job 4 months out because she can't function without me).... so on Monday, I decided to relax...
Sure, I still cleaned the kitchen, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, vacuumed the house, finished making my husband's hobbes hat for the hospital, went to lunch with two friends, went to my doctors appointment and then put my feet up for 2 TV shows because it was 90 degrees out... But because I didn't make bread, go grocery shopping, or put a meal on the table and a few other things everything is out of wack for this week...
You need to just relax and breathe! Because it will be even more exhausting when the baby arrives. I'll give you the best advice anyone ever gave me---and it's so difficult to follow--you will be sleep deprived when the baby arrives so SLEEP when the baby sleeps. Resist the urge to cook and clean. Plenty of time for that down the road. Enjoy your time at home w/baby.
ReplyDeleteHate to tell ya hun, but it is only going to get worse once the baby is here. Your DH needs to step up now and help you out, or I can guarantee, you are going to have some blowouts when that sweet baby gets here.
ReplyDeleteI think every mother in the world has felt some version of what you are feeling right now. So it's totally normal. My advice would be to call a friend at church and tell her exactly what you have written here. Get some help! People love to minister to expecting/new moms and I'll bet you would get some takers on folding clothes, bringing meals and maybe even scrubbing out that tub. This is a great opportunity to let folks be the hands of Christ for you! Our spouses can't be everything to us and it sounds like yours isn't a cook or a cleaner. So call on someone else to help out. God bless you during this time of waiting. At least you're not on the back of a donkey, traveling to a strange town. 😜
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!
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