Before we made any plans to book our wedding location at my fiancés church (actually outside on the grass area because they have this beautiful landscape, and a really nice awning with tables and chairs already there...) We sat down with the bishop who would marry us and talked.
I told him my testimony, about my family, about my past... and my concerns since i'm not Mormon and i've heard about Mormon weddings performed outside of a temple... that they aren't treated as special... and how it could be like a "second class ceremony" since everyones preference is for the couple to be married in a temple.
He listened... he understood... and he wanted me to be comfortable with everything. He showed me what he would have to say at the wedding ceremony and told me that I could in essence, write the rest of it. He was really nice... I really liked him... so we decided to get married on the lawn outside of my fiancés old California church. They weren't going to charge us a dime... it would be free and on a small budget, free was fantastic.
We booked the wedding planner... paid our deposit, and then set forward with our plans...
A few weeks laster we got a call from the bishop... he was being promoted to a new position (good for him, bad for us)... because with his new position he wouldn't be able to perform a wedding for us. He recommended someone else... but when we called him he told us that he wouldn't be able to guarantee he could get permission to perform our wedding because he wasn't our "assigned" bishop...
So, we tracked down my fiancés assigned bishop... and found out he would be out of town for our wedding date... and we found out that there was only one other person who we could ask to perform our wedding... the Stake President (the guy in charge of all the wards in the area).
We met with the Stake President, again I talked of my concerns and went over what we would like to do with the wedding ceremony. He assured us we would be able to work something out. I sent him an outline of the ceremony and we talked over the phone. He said we could do most of it (the things that were important to me), but some of the things we would need to amend or leave out... he told me he would send me his edits.
When he did... the things I was told we could have (and therefore mailed my invitations out because of) were left out of the ceremony outline... We emailed back and forth... and finally we were told that my fiancé and I actually wouldn't be able to read personal statements to one another ANYWHERE during the wedding ceremony.
I could give up and compromise on the other things... but to be told that i could not stand up in front of my friends and family and tell my fiancé why i loved him... and why i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him... to not be able to do this at my wedding is something I just cannot do.
We are now on a hunt for a new wedding venue... and only 70 days left until we say I do. I can only hope we can find someplace to hold the wedding... stay in budget... and put this whole mess behind us.
don't you work for a city in OC? Can't you utilize a park for next to nothing?
ReplyDeleteThat is really frustrating. I would probably look for a new venue too but I would still keep this one in case you can't find another that you like.
ReplyDeleteI'll be calling my friend in the office to see what they can do on Tuesday... the only problem is that in this particular city, only 2 parks can be reserved for any parties or events... and they fill up fast... sometimes months in advance... but i'll be calling around tuesday, and i'll be calling the parks and rec department for the city I live in as well.
ReplyDeleteHere's to crossing our fingers.
Well it wouldn't be a real wedding without one semi-disaster right? :) What if you did the wedding at the original venue, then during the reception (perhaps before the toasts) you and DH stand and say the things that you want to say in front of your friends and family. That way you can make everyone cry twice (aaawww!)and you won't have to send out amendments to your invites.
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