Sunday, May 29, 2011

Cutting a Check to the wedding planners

So on Saturday I cut a check to the wedding planner for the remaining balance we owe her (over 6k) ... and I'm trying not to freak out about the few things that have unravled in the process.

  • The Taco Cart Guy forgot about holding our date and won't be able to do our wedding... so now we need to figure out food...
  • Only 40 people have RSVP'd for the wedding while 22 people are still up in the air... (which makes finding a new food option difficult) 
  • My sister is trying to drag me into the middle of all the drama surrounding my batchelorette party... the details of which are supposed to be a surprise...
  • I still have a rehearsal to plan...
  • and our BEST MAN might not make it out to California after all...
Ya, my fiance's best friend has been in South Carolina for 2 weeks hanging with a buddy and apparently applying for a job at a prison center? His wife is still in Utah working, living with his family, and wondering when he's coming home. He's in a similar position as my fiance work wise (his partner in crime) so jobs have been difficult to come by... and since his wife isn't as outspoken as I, he hasn't been too motivated to find work.(They also have money issues, communication issues, and got married very young... I'll be posting more on their situation later.) 

She has sworn that she's at least coming to the wedding, has taken the time off work and is still intended to be a bridesmaid and to support South County Boy and I... but she has no idea about her husband since he hasn't called her in a few days. I just don't know what to say about any of it... I want to comfort her but I can't since i'm not there to smack some sense into him... and it just complicates things for the wedding... and I feel soooooo guilty thinking about that. If he gets the job and decides to stay in SC and can't make it to California then all the program fans I've made are ALL wrong (and its money wasted down the drain).... Not to mention we'd need to find a new best man... and if that happens, one of his brother's will "stand in" as a groomsmen and my "brother" will not only Escort me down the isle... but he'd get promoted to Best Man too. 

Things are starting to come unglued... and its crazy. We also have no idea why he even went to apply for the job since his wife has no desire to move to South Carolina AT ALL. He's staying with his buddy down there (who paid for the flight) so we are hoping he just wanted to get some fishing in, do the interview to appease his friend, and will be coming back to Utah very soon. 
I feel like money is just slowly draining away on things that keep changing because people don't have their crap together... This is the problem that happens when you are the first person from your circle of friends to get hitched and everyone is in their early 20's...


  1. So...has the "E" word popped up yet? As in, elopement? I'm kidding, but sheesh, I think it's safe to say that after planning a wedding we all understand people who do.

    So addressing your list of potential freak-outs:

    1. Assinate the taco guy. It won't really help but you'll feel better. But really, what was the plan before tacos? Maybe just go back to that? Or look for other taco guys. Nail down a date. Pay a deposit.

    2. I would plan for the number of people who said they are coming and then half of the people who have not RSVP'd yet.

    3. The bachelorette party is not your problem. It, along with your shower, is a gift that someone may or may not choose to give you when you are getting a married. I would choose a phrase and whenever sister wants to bring it up, become a broken record. Some suggestions for phrases are...I'm sorry, I can't help you...It's up to you...You know what's best...That's too bad...Surprise me!

    4. The rehearsal dinner traditionally falls under the groom's family's responsibilities. If they can't or won't take it on, could this become the groom's responsibility? Or can you delegate it to someone else? (Going back to an earlier post, I would also delegate sending out amendments or doing phone calls. A perfect task for bridesmaids!) Honestly, we did pizza and beer for ours and then had several of our friends copy us. It's nice when every one is getting all dressed up and eating fancy food the following night to have it be relaxed.

    As for the whole best man issue (again, sheesh!), since you have a back-up plan, I would put your focus on SCB. He's the one who's BFF is potentially blowing off the most important day of his life. Is he (SCB) ok? He may need some extra love.

    I know the money part can be stressful, but you are paying cash for everything which means that you are miles ahead of so many young couples starting their lives together. Everything will come together. Someday the two of you will be looking through your wedding albums and you'll only remember the love and the magic and you'll laugh about all the craziness. Like, the song says, these are the good old days!

  2. Also, (and you don't have to post this one if you don't want to) if you haven't done so, it's time to make an appointment with the gyno and talk birth control options. Some of them take awhile to "kick in". Nothing like a honeymoon surprise to make that first year of marriage REALLY stressful.

    (I'm sorry if this is too personal. You seem to bring out the mom in me. My oldest son has been dating the same girl for 5 1/2 years. She graduates from college next month and so I can see wedding planning in my near future. Maybe if I can get all of my advice giving out on you then I won't drive my future DIL too crazy!)

  3. I second the elopement. If I ever get married, my mother has promised to pay me to elope. I will then have a small dinner reception after. I want a party, but the stress and cost are not worth it!

    Also, STOP making anything with names and/or locations on it. Save that for the last minute to save your sanity (and your pocketbook)!

  4. Laramik- It's been a really crazy week, but I found some focus and tackled a few things. (Oh and we got the Birth Control Covered.)

    With that out of the way, we decided to get appetizer platters from Ralph's Grocery store. Since we said cake and punch reception on the invites having a variety of appetizer trays should be efficient. Each tray serves 16-20 and we are expecting a max of 60 people (43 confirmed including kids). So we are getting 2 of each of the following:
    fruit tray with vanilla yogurt dip
    veggie tray with ranch dip
    spinach dip inside a bread bowl with bread slices
    cubed meat and cheese platters

    We are also putting trail mix, gold fish, and a pub mix in bowls on every table. Between all of that and the cake and apple cider, ice tea lemon-aid, and bottled water I think we are set. I can wait till a week before the wedding to order the platters.

    For the bachelorette party, a few quick calls to my gals have fixed a lot of the issues and hopefully it will work out fine. I actually asked my bridesmaid to take the lead on it instead of my maid of honor because shes more organized and so far its been flowing better and the phone calls have stopped on both ends.

    As for the rehearsal dinner, since it's not something that is normally done for an LDS wedding,(because the ceremony is in the temple with just the bride and groom) so his parents have offered to buy lunch for everyone in the bridal party and the families as everyone is getting ready the day of... But we still need to do a rehearsal and a run through so we will probably do the rehearsal off location and i'll be calling around to restaurants to see if they can make a "party" menu for us. (Hopefully under $300???)

    As for SCB... hes upset... naturally... and he just doesn't know what to do about...

  5. We actually decided not to finish the program fans because of all that. I don't want to spend anymore money on them if we may or may not be able to use them.

    So we will either use them "As is" as regular programs or not at all... It's just not worth it to pay for things last minuet because we'd pay more in shipping than anything else and I don't want to be frantic the week before the wedding finishing a bunch of little tasks.

  6. Sounds like it's all getting worked out. Hurray! You guys are doing great!