HUGE RANT!!!! You've been warned
Most of my good and true friends are spread out so i see them a couple times a month if i'm lucky so we plan outtings. My best friends are totally cool with cooking in or just hanging out and playing games even if we only see eachother once a month. Well swing by the grocery store or heat up leftovers or what not. They also know that we end hangout around 9:30pm so i can hit the sack and SLEEP for at 4:30 am my alarm is going off.
my boyfriend also hangs out with the same group of friends (my roommate included) so if we hang out at his place, they know that at 9:30pm, i'm curling up on a couch and taking a nap till he takes me home and sometimes he will wake me up at midnight, or eleven and that's fine with me. he gets to hang out longer, I get sleep. Bueno.
I make a point of hanging out when he can't, and He hangs with people even when i can't, or i'm sleeping. every tuesday I hang out with my friends for college group, roommate included. I leave around nine or nine thirty to get home to go to bed.
Since boyfriend and I are trying to save money and since he doesn't get much work these days, we tend to eat dinner together every night of the week. His parents will cook and i'll eat there, or i'll cook and he'll eat with me. Occassionally we go out with friends for dinner, or occassionally i'll cook for his whole family (i even clip coupons i get in the mail for his folks if we frequent those places. They love me.
When we as a couple call it an early night by not going out to dinner 9but hanging out before), or simply passing if we have seen them already this week our friends understand, but my roommate doesn't. She gets mad that i ditch her and don't go out with everybody. My new work hours aren't making things very happy with her either... She makes comments about me not hanging out as much and keeps throwing me daggers and makes remarks about how I go to bed at 8 or 9 at night. (i get up at 4:30am to go to work 4 days a week (tuesday-friday). So on friday, by 9:00pm i'm tired because i've been up for 16 and a half hours... so ya i want to go to bed cause i'm getting up at 6:00am for work on Saturday.) Sundays she works and I go to church. Mondays i do laundry, clean the apt and have my day off-- she works on mondays and has monday nights free... but i have to go to bed early on mondays because i have to get up at 4:30am in the morning. My afternoons are free, but she works.
It's not my fault and i'm tired of getting crap for it but i can't be this candor with her because she's this huge drama freak.
I've told her if she wants to hang out, then well plan something in advance so I don't make plans for a night and we can hang out for a few hours. I make plans witha ll my other friends, why can't she get that???
But no, she gets mad at me that she spends nights alone in our apartment because i'm having dinner at my boyfriends house with his family when she doesn't give me any advance notice that she wants to hang. I'm not going to cancel plans i've already accepted, that's rude and i'm not going to sit at home every night incase she's home to hang out. I have a life.
And it's not that I'm not nice and accommodating. If i'm cooking dinner, like last night, i'll chat with her ask her how her day is... but I'm not going to fuel the fire with her complaining about a million things either. She's hunting for sympathy and attention and she needs to grow up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around her (i've reached that maturity, she hasn't). Last night she started giving me attitude and slamming kitchen drawers because she felt like she shouldn't be in the kitchen because my boyfriend and i were having dinner...To which i told her she didn't have to "run away" to her room, she wasn't in our way, never is... so she stayed and hung out with us. THE CRAZY PART is that i have to do that every time i'm in there.
After dinner we made an effort to hang longer, had dessert and then sat out in the living room for a few minuets... but we didn't say much (i was tired) and she wasn't trying to carry on a conversation so i called it a night. On the way to my room she makes comments about how I don't hang out and i'm not chatty.
about 2 weeks ago i came home at 9:30 ten-ish and wanted to go straight to bed because I was exhausted... through the closed door i heard her tell my boyfriend that "I might as well go to bed since SHE WON"t Stay up!" She then slammed her bedroom door so loudly it echo'd off the place!
She spent the night alone in the apartment that night. Never texted us asking us to hang, nadda-- just assuming we should know she was lonely and had no plans.