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The honeymoon holiday feeling in my house is gone. I had a good couple of weeks with minimal fighting and the like, but it seems like as soon as the x-mas decorations went down (which i actually helped to take down without being asked)... so did the fake sense of happy.

I went grocery shopping after my mom did... and i noticed that she bought food items that really I only eat and everything like that. So I called her to let her know that i was picking up some of the same things so she wouldn't be shell shocked when i got home.... apparently this was one of her amazing efforts that i've labled the following: The

"look i'm trying to be a mom and buy your affection with things in a ploy to
A) make you not move out and B) so that i can take them away and have
'power' over you when we do get in a fight" tactic.

So needless to say she went on one of her rampages and made me put most of my food in the garage freezer... (which is set way to high and is covered in ice... ) she almost didn't let me put my grocery groceries in the fridge!!!! SO needless to say yesterday has been filled with horrible looks and comments. But once again i rose above her crap and kindly remined her that she doesn't buy my groceries anymore because

• she asked me to buy my own groceries (see the 19 days of pantry eating)
• because when i did eat "house food" i get yelled at later for it
• and when we do fight, she tells me to go and buy my own crap.

I guess she just doesn't seem to understand that i'm serious about moving out... but then after our fight, she called me to tell me she was thinking of buying a place with her friend as an investment property... and asked if me and my friends would want to rent it... but its out in Tustin... which is kind of far for me. I thinking more local if i'm renting. (which i plan to do since i have no idea where i'm going to want to live in a couple of years... (and i won't have anything big enought to look like a down payment when i go to move out....) it all depends on where people go, where my job is, and the like.

plus.... my friend moe got hurt last night playing football... i'm really sad now.

but i did mention i did some shopping so i better update the budget.

Bills: Spent $9.95, left $50.05

• Aol internet (that i didn't use all month... i only have it for emergencies like submitting papers... i do all my net stuff at work.) $9.95

Food: spent $84.27; Left $65.73
Costco:

• Water + redeption value 4.69 +1.60
• v-8 + redeption value 12.99 +96
• Bananas 1.30
• Triscuits 4.99
• meatballs 10.99
• Pasta sauce 6.59
• hot dogs 7.99
• chicken sandwitches 9.29
• yogart 7.49

Ralphs:

• Brown Rice 4.99
• Chicken pot pie .48
• Chicken pot pie .48
• Chicken pot pie .48
• Chicken pot pie .48
• Chicken pot pie .48
• Honey mustard dressing 1.50
• peanut butter 1.99
• canned lite pears 1.00
• canned lite pears 1.00
• eggplant chicken meal free with coupon
• mushrooms 2.49
  

Basic Necessities: Spent $1.73 Left $48.27

• toothpaste 1.73 (coupon plus an extra buck off...)

Gas: Spent $34.60; Left $165.40

• Costco $34.60

Short Term Savings- Goal $90.00

• $25.oo auto transfer

Auto Loan goal= 1156.00

• Recycle: $9.52 (sent it today)

I get paid on friday, and then i'll work with some of these other categories.

Car Insurance: $100.00
Offering: $94.00
Fun Money: $70.00
Long term savings (moving out)

I also got some socks with some x-mas money from Costco so i didn't include it in the budget because it was free money and i love new socks.

----> books still haven't posted for my 2 other classes... and i need to call my other college to finalize that independent study course still.

i need to breathe and be reminded of the good things in my life... to keep with this good place inside me and not retreat to the place that i've been the last 6 months...
Things to be happy about:

1. A girl who works out in the gym is calling my boss to complain that he made me turn off the country music in the mornings... this makes me smile and my heart happy because i miss my country music. My boss told me i can play it when no one else is here tho, which is nice. The funny thing is that i get more compliments and never any complaints from the country music because the picky people bringt ipods and never care... but i get complaints about the standard station all the time.
2. my jeans fit baggier on me (while the scale is slightly going up because muscle weighs more then fat. 141.6 this morning)
3. I didn't get hurt last night playing football and have yet to obtain injurys (minus bruises and being sore the next day) and i play just as tough as the boys.... after last night, Dave told me i know have man status... this kind of worries me because while i play with the guys, i don't want to be one of the guys... but the no injuries is something to smile about
4. I have plans to go roller skating on Friday with Danielle and Blake.
5. i get to wear my new boots line danicng tonight with heather
6. I have pleanty of books to read at work... and i don't have to lifeguard today or for a while...
7. i have a plan to get out of my house and i think it will work.
8. I have a crush on a certain individual... and thinking about him makes me smile like a 16 year old in high school... lol (its fun just to have a crush every once and awhile)

Things are looking up already