After sitting through the worst birthday lunch I can remember, I tried to remain calm despite wanting to throw water in my sisters face and storm away from her beyond rude comments and statements...
Instead I was stuck at the table trying to not make this whole this escalate into a public scene.
My sister continued on though, and started making more kinds of comments about how I don't know anything because I work at a gym and how this is all her career and she knows it all because its what she does for a living (which doesn't make any sense to me)... but when she started making comments about me as though I was no longer at the table... trying to convince my mom that I was evil I chose to call her out on it.
While my comments just left more petty murmuring on her part... After a minuet or two she started doing it again and I decided to called her out on it again.
I felt bad for her fiance though. He had barely said a word the entire time and you should have seen the look of embarrassment on his face as she continued to open her mouth and spew ugliness. He knew she was just trying to be a bully because she felt entitled.
Thankfully she was interrupted when the server came around with the bill. Once the server was gone, she decided to make a huge deal over the fact that I was actually looking at the bill before just tossing money into it. Besides wanting to add in my tip since we were paying with cash, I didn't know how much SCB's entree was and I didn't want to cheat anyone by not putting in enough (i'd never hear the end of it if I did). I also wanted to make sure we were paying a fair amount and not paying extra to account for their drinking. Mind you I didn't say any of that out loud because I wasn't even given a chance to.
With her venomous attitude she snapped about how we should just toss down 50% off the bill so we could leave already. In the end to stop the insanity (and to make the look on my mom's face go away) we just tossed the money on the table--- (and yes, we overpaid)... but we shouldn't have bothered. She announced to the table that she was finishing her Margarita before we left... where she drove home.
The car ride home was equally unpleasant. Between the awkward silence and my mom talking about doing a "real" thanksgiving instead of brunch next month (joy....) my sister started ranting about her birthday in December and how we better be in town for it. Her birthday is on the 13th but since I wasn't really talking much, SCB mentioned we would be in town on the 13th, but that we were leaving on the 17th for Utah.
So, naturally she started in on how that's when she's celebrating her birthday and if were not there were not family and she will "cross us off her list"... and "when have we ever celebrated mid week for my birthday" etc etc and without missing a beat my husband spat out "Too bad."
Before she could open her mouth to reply any further my mom pointing out that it was HER BIRTHDAY SHE was RUINING and asked her to drop it.
A minuet or two later we pulled up at my mom's house. When we got out of the car and said a quick prayer for still being alive, my mom asked us at the curb if we wanted to come inside and I asked her if she wanted us to and she said it was up to us but she'd be okay if we left... so we headed to our car...
My sister started instantaneously making a scene outside that "she'll leave so the B*tch can stay" (meaning me) but we didn't even acknowledge her and we got into our car as she headed inside my mom's place to continue her 2 year old me me me rant.
Her fiance was still outside and I gave him a sad smile and waived goodbye... (I don't know why he's marrying her... he deserves better).
An hour later my phone goes off with my sisters dreaded ring tone... I wasn't planning on picking up, but SCB accidentally hit answer instead of ignore... We could hear my sister crying and apology on the other side of it without speaker phone on so I took the phone from him...
She apologized legitimately first time in I don't know how long... and she didn't even try to flip the phone call mid way and make me into the devil.
But is "I'm sorry" really enough at this point? Does it erase it all?
I'm leaning towards no. She wants a relationship with me but I don't really think she's worth it in my opinion. How many times can you burn a bridge down before the contractor just says screw it and moves on?
You could make a reality show about you and your sister's relationship. Me and my family are crazy, but I would say your sister is worse. I don't know if sorry would be enough for me, however, I am like a doormat and I tend to forgive people, but I never forget.
ReplyDeleteHeck no! I'm sorry, but if you continue to put up with her behavior, then you are being an enabler. She isn't worth it, and you know this. You seem like such a smart gal; I don't know why on Earth you continue to put up with this foolishness. I know you've heard "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me." You're about to have the shame on you if you continue to put up with her crap. She sounds like a miserable bitch, and I would want nothing to do with her.
ReplyDeleteDoes your sister's fiance realize what he is getting into? I cannot imagine anyone wishing to marry someone who acts like that. I don't think you should spend any holidays with her. Period.
ReplyDeleteMy sister's fiance lives with her... a bit over a year now...
ReplyDeleteWhat if you said to her...."It's obvious that you don't like me. You think I'm evil. And stupid. Therefore, I'm sure it will be a HUGE relief to you if I don't show up at your birthday or your wedding. You're welcome."
ReplyDeleteWhat a nightmare of a sister. I think it would take a lot on her part to repair the relationship and based on what you wrote, I don't see her making the effort. How awkward it must be for you to be in this position. And your poor mother who probably just wanted to have a nice quiet lunch out with her daughters. I find it interesting through all of this that your mother didn't tell your sister to shut up.
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