Last week I had a completely different work schedule and it was amazing. I only had one 5am shift and I spent the rest of my week working an 8 to 5 schedule at City Hall. I could sleep in and still get up early by most people's standards, occasionally swinging by the condo to update the blog or start a load of laundry before heading out for the work day... & I even had the energy to stay up later without almost passing out on the couch so we got more quality time together because I was coherent.
Even though I worked back to back shifts all weekend long teaching a lifeguard course, we got to spend so much more time together because, to help simplify things, I stayed a couple of nights at the condo (with south county boy on the couch of course)... and it was heaven... we got to see each other more... we bickered less... and it was just so nice to be home and not have to pack each night to leave...
The only problem now is that "little taste of heaven" has made this week very rough on me as I try and transition back to my 4:30 am alarm going off at a different home where I walk down the stairs in the dark so I don't wake the dog... and where goodbyes at the end of the night feel like the painful goodbyes we had when I left Utah and drove 3 states away.
It didn't help that I had a bad dream last night and woke to the sounds of a coyote KILLING a dog at 4am and all I could do was just sit in bed and listen to it whine and die horribly.
...
I'm finding that i'm just worn out from the constant house flopping and I just don't have the energy or the motivation to get things done. I'm trying to cook a nice dinner every night because its the only time we have together before I leave, but its just sapping my energy to have everything on the table at 6:15 when he gets home. Normally on the weekends we grill and make dinner together, but midweek it generally falls to me because I get off earlier and if we wait to start dinner until SCB gets home we won't eat till 7:30 at night and I have to leave at 8pm to head over to the home I've been staying at. It just doesn't work... mid week for us just stinks... especially since I don't have any days off this week to recover since I have to work the holiday weekend.
I have wedding things that I still need to order, projects to finish, phone calls to make to those who did not RSVP... and location change notices to either make and mail out... or call and notify over... I need to get focused...
My fiance also isn't at home eating leftovers anymore because he gets a free lunch at work everyday... which leaves the leftovers for my lunch. Now normally this isn't a issue, but lately i've been trying to cook foods my fiance will like for dinner... and those tend to be hearty comfort foods since he's been working on his feet all day... and those foods tend to be unhealthier than what I normally would take for myself for lunch (girly food). So instead of a really healthy breakfast and lunch, and a normal dinner... i've been eating more heavy foods as I try to noy waste the leftovers... We either need to reconfigure portions so we have less leftovers, or start adding new meals to the rotation because I can't do this to myself so close to our wedding.
Just to understand the chaos, here's just a glance at my last couple of days:
Get up at 4:30am... out the door by 5am... clocked into work by 5:15... short workout on my lunch break... home by 2:30pm... started a load of laundry... emptied the dishes from my lunch and the sink into the dishwasher... started dishwasher... wiped down the kitchen... changed into house clothes... made a snack... watered and took care of my plants... updated the blog... got to watch a TV show while I started prepping dinner... Served dinner at 6:15... cleaned up dinner while South County Boy showered... then showered myself... packed my overnight bag... tossed together a quick lunch... tried to sit with my fiance for a min or two before I left the condo at 8pm... (forgot my cell phone at home in the process)... Asleep by 9pm...
Alarm at 4:30am... few crunches and push ups... at work by 5:15am.... worked straight till 2:30pm because I have a conference... got home around 3... started a load of laundry (SCB put away the other load), emptied my lunch and the sink contents into the dishwaher... Ate food because I missed lunch... changed my clothes... watered the plants... updated the blog... and was too exhausted/not hungry to make dinner because of my late lunch...
Rinse and Repeat
I think you need to consider living together. Keep the same arrangement of him on the couch and you in the bedroom, and just do it. There is no use in being miserable just for appearance's sake.
ReplyDeleteI second anonymous. Who cares what people think? You and your fiance and God know you aren't doing a flipping thing wrong. Just keep living as roommates until the wedding.
ReplyDelete