Locked out of the house

So the other day I was talking to South County Boy in the kitchen:

• Me: "Hey, do you want to walk with me down to the bank so I don't have to go alone? I was going to cash the check we got from the wedding and the one from my work gas recipts."
• SCB: "..."
• Me: "Please, its good exercise... get your shoes on." (**smiles because I know I have won and he's walking with me**)
• SCB: "okay."
  

I gather up what we need and hand it to him to put in his wallet. He fills up a water bottle and I hand him the house keys and say,

• Me: "Here's the keys, I'll wait for you outside... don't forget to lock the door"

Less than a minuet later he's outside the door, the house is locked and we are on our way... we walk to the bank, browse through the new Walgreens just to see what they have there, and we also puruse Fresh and Easy to get appetizer ideas for Mother's day. We walk home hand in hand most of the way because we like each other. We approach the complex and South County Boy asks me....

• SCB: "Hey, ummmm where are the keys?"
• ME: "What do you mean, where are the keys? I handed them to you before I went out the door... you locked the house... you jiggled the lock...."
  

Panic sets in for me... guilt sets in for SCB...

• SCB: "I don't remember when I last had them... .... ...."

We race to the front door to see if they were left on the landing... praying he dropped them before we walked off... they aren't there, the door is locked.

We live on the second floor... there are no windows in our place.... the balcony is no where near the front door which just has stairs up to our door and a place for a mat... ... and under our condo lives a very loud barking and upset German Sheppard.... We proceed to get into SCB's car because he keeps a spare key in his wallet... We frantically scan our route as we drive to the bank... The keys aren't there... we park and walk over and through the whole Walgreens Store, Stopping every place he picked up something to look at it..... Nope, Not there... not even at the stretchy slinky shirts he kept playing with near the Easter stuff.... We walk next door and check every isle of fresh and easy.... Nope, still not there...

SCB drives home while I walk home to check our path... He has convinced me he will break into the house while i'm walking home because he doesn't remember locking the house with the key... I need to burn off steam...I'm upset, but don't cry and haven't (a plus for me)... I worry and walk since the only key to my car that will start my car is on that set... along with my work keys, the key to the house i'm staying at, my mom's house key, the mail box key, and my SPARE house key as well... (I used to lock myself out of the house when i'd go marathon training because i'd take the key off my regular key ring to run with and would forget to put it back on and leave later that day without a house key because i'd naturally grab my car keys and walk out the door... so now I leave the spare on the ring so If i grab my keys and lock the door without the keys I have one with my car keys).

I walk around the corner and towards the condo and SCB is returning a step ladder to a neighbor. Apparently the neighbor underneath us left the German Sheppard inside the house randomly today because she's been barking every time we leave the house and she doesn't want to the other neighbors to complain... WHAT AMAZING LUCK!!!!!

My fiance apparently used a baseball bat from his car to knock off one of my hanging planters that was empty to give him more room... balanced on a step stool with only part of it hanging on my neighbors balcony, the other part off in the air..... and then used all 6 foot 6 inches of himself to hoist himself up onto the balcony of our second story condo to get in through the slider that we keep open on warm days because no one could possibly get past that German Sheppard below us to even think of robbing our place...

I walked through the front door... Panic easing only to hear,

• SCB: "Did you find the keys...?????"
• ME: "No... there not in here?????" (PANIC RETURNS...!!!!)
• SCB: "I couldn't find them anywhere....I looked everywhere."
  

I turn to start looking. I check the kitchen table... no luck... I turn around and I see them right on the middle of the counter, sitting on the granite...... (Relief floods me... but I can't let him get away with this. In the less than one minuet it took him to take the keys from my hand and walk out the front door he set them down on the counter before exiting the building... I walked home twice... he made me panic... I almost cried...

I hold the keys up, on my little finger... a mix of your so in trouble and triumph written all over my face... I turn around and he looks at me holding the keys..... Silence fills the condo.... the look he gives me is priceless...

• ME: "Found them..."