[that's not me... i'm not blond... which is the only joke of this serious post]
The otherday i went to pick up some recycle at my mom's... and as i was going through the b0ttles i found 3 bottles of wine "hidden" in the bin... [they were put at the very bottom... back in the brown wine bags they came in and then put inside another paper grocery bag so no one could see them...] my heart broke
I'm not sure if i ever mentioned it on this blog before, but my mom is an incloset alcoholic... and after i move out, i got her motivated to try and stop... she even went to a few AA meetings and was "trying" to be clean.... but the 3 bottles told me the truth...
And the 5 unopened ones hidden under her bed stung even deeper... I called my sister to see if she knew... she did and didn't care... infact she tried to cover for my mom... My sister likes my mom drunk... it means she can walk all over her and drive her further into the bottle by force and keep her there.
Well after finding that, I took the bottles and left them in plain sight and told her to call me in a note... after a short conversation with her... i knew i needed to think...
after lots of conversations with close friends, i finally told my mom over the course of an hour that she had to choose alchohol or her daughter.
For the past 8 years, since i was 13... i've done everything i could to keep my family functioning, regardless to the emotional or physical costs it would mean for me... But i can't be her parent anymore... if i have kids one day, i want them to know a sober grandma... So until she decided she wants to do it all the way, i'm a birthday and holiday daughter...
I told her i won't fix the issues and fights with her and my sister...
I won't fix corie's life no matter how much they tell me to " be a christian" and help out...
It was weird... but after this all happened, i went "home" to my apartment... lit some candles, took a bath, and read one of my books for class...
i felt different... kind of like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I won't see my mom or my sister until her birthday... oct 4th after my night class. I went by the house yesterday to drop off my godmother's present... it was awkward...
After that, then thanksgiving, my sister's birthday, my graduation, and xmas. I hope she'll see what its costing her in the long run and get a sponsor...
I'll be praying for you! You took a great step. There's a book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger called "Bad Childhood, Good Life." I've never been a fan of Dr. Laura's but this book is very good and I would recommend it to many people. (And it's not at all a mushy self-help book. She lays it out there. She would congratulate you on for taking the steps you did.)
ReplyDeleteOur church has an abuse program called "Reformers Unanimous" and it has helped a lot of people in our community. The program is a faith based program and is absolutely wonderful. Reformers has a website that has all kinds of information, and also, you can see if there is a program in your area. Just type in Reformers Unanimous in the search. I will be praying for you and your mom. And always let your mom know that you love her.
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of you. You definitely took a very brave and difficult step. I hope your mom gets the help that she needs.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouragement guys. I really appreciate your kind words and prayers.
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